Preparing to go home for the holidays is exciting! Having been gone from Ohio for six months now and working like a maniac during this past wedding season, I was MORE than ready for a week-long vacation.

But...

Nobody can prepare you for the emotional whirlwind caused by going home for the first time. Since I work out a lot of my feelings by talking and sharing with whoever will listen, I decided to blog about my experience; the good and the bad.

Before I left I was alllll atwitter with anticipation but I was also kind of anxious. When I snagged my position here in Chicago I was gone. Two weeks and I uprooted my life and plopped myself down into a roach-riddled apartment. I have since moved to a new one.

I was nervous about being an outsider. A lot happens in six months and when you try to reincorporate yourself back into the mix it can seem a little... Disconnected? Luckily I have a great group of friends that always make me feel like a queen, err, king. My biggest fear was having to hear something along the lines of "Oh what? You think you're better than us now that you're in ChIcaAaAaAago?!?" Needless to say that didn't happen.

I think the most difficult part is trying to remember that there IS a reason I moved. Everyday in Ohio wasn't a party when I lived there. I worked a job I hated, I felt like there was nothing to do, my best friend lived down the road and I never saw her bc we worked together... Etc etc etc. But when you come home for a few days, it's oooon and poppin. Everyone is more than willing to drink at 11am or drive you around, have big dinners and invite everyone you know. You can hang out all day, sleep in and pretend you don't have a job and you KNOW I didn't ride the damn train two hours a day in Dayton.

But even though all of these things aren't representative of reality it's not easy to leave it all behind and come back to your studio apartment and sit by yourself all night. No dog. No big apartment. No bedroom. I could go on. Going home is what causes homesickness. I'm so glad I went but part of me wishes I wouldn't have.

I am grateful for who I have in my life. Making friends really isn't easy at 27. I work with one person (if not alone) all week, I commute an hour to and from work every day and u can't rely on making buds at bars bc they never remember your name the next time they see you. I think this trip made me realize how valuable relationships are. Doing all this shit by yourself every single day isn't fun. I'm pretty independent but a gay needs his girlfriends.

So to all of you who haven't left the nest, I have some words of hisdom if I may:

• Call your parents. Go see them if you can. You'll need them one day for something big or for nothing at all and you should take advantage of them being close while you can.

• Be grateful for good friends. When you move, you'll realize some of your "good" friends are actually "great" one while some aren't as good as you thought.

• Always smooch your pets. They just wanna love you.

• Love your boyfriend or girlfriend as hard as you can. Even if you think it's not going to amount to anything long term. He/she may help you keep your sanity one day which is nothing to take lightly.

• Do things for yourself, don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it, ad don't be slow to offer help if someone else needs it. Pay it forward, bitches.

AND REMEMBER:  

You are never alone. 

<3